my story

when will you write my story Lord when? have I not waiting long enough? please Lord just finish it.

community

Last night I had a Bible study in my room we read acts 2:37-47. this passage is about fellowship with others. we were talking about fellowship and what it looks like and how we do it. I noticed as we were talking that we all talked about fellowship in the Bethany bubble. This is not a bad thing by no means but what are we training ourselves for when we get out of here? To be only in community with those friends around you or to venture out and get to know the community which surrounds you? I made a challenge to the people in that group to sit at a different cafe table and talk with someone they didnt already know.

I think I feel we need to connect with the Bethany community before we can connect with the outside community. Because how good are we gonna be at reaching out community if we dont even know each other. everyone brings something new and great to the table with them. Imagine if we were to get fifteen to twenty people together, each with there gifts and talents, and unite to reach Santa Cruz or Scotts Valley. We as Christians need to broaden our horizons and think about the unsaved more often. I do it too, I get in my routine and forget about everyone else. I do think that community with believers is important, but I also believe that if Christians arent out in the community it shows the community that we may not care about them.

I was also praying this morning during my devotion and God reminded me a question on this topic, If you were to not be here would the community even know it?

random throwup on a page

I want to blog and I want to write something meaningful and thoughtful but I have nothing. so I'm thinking if I just sit here and think and type something will come to me.,. its 11:18.



Its 11:22 and I still have nothing...



11:17 still nothing



I just found the paper so I can apply for a chapel waiver because I work... 11:30



OK I might have something, I just watched the hero's season three premiere and I think it would be awesome to have powers like that. for those who watch the show or would just like to answer if you could have a superpower what would it be? why and would you use it for good or for evil?



as for me I would be like hiro, how awesome would it be to be able to time travel and to stop time?

ok so that wasn't anything... its 1145

I'm going to bed... please pray for me, I'm going tomorrow to start my application to get credentialed... I'm scared and excited.

Service and God

I sit here at this computer, broken, not because of something that has happened to me but because I want more of God. I figure if I break myself I can let more of him in my body(don't know if that's actual fact but ill roll with it). My only request in life is that God uses me in a huge way, a way that I never imagined, even in my dreams. I pray that God will take me to new heights, new boundaries, new everything. I know God has special things in store for me but I want him to use me. To help the helpless, which is why I want to feed the homeless breakfast some Sunday mornings or Saturday mornings.

In the story of zacchaeus, we find Jesus walking through Jericho, as he is walking through Zacchaeus sees him and wants to get close to him. He climbs up a sycamore-fig tree and Jesus sees him and says "come down now, I'm going to stay at your house tonight." so Jesus does and Zacchaeus is broken and gives back to the people four times what he has taken from them. I look at this and I think if I could be in this story what would my place be? Jesus, yeah right, Zacchaeus? maybe, but if I were in this story I would want to be the tree. yes the tree. The tree is what hold zacchaeus up and brings him to Jesus. I want to be someone or something that brings people to Jesus.

I have all of these thoughts and ideas running through my head and I need to channel them. I want to serve the community of Santa Cruz and Scotts Valley but I don't know how or where to start. Will someone help me? Work with me and lets be the gap that brings people to Christ!!!!

What the heck am I doing?

have you ever looked at life and said "what the heck am I doing?" I know what im doing with my life but sometimes I have to check myself. last night I was at the beach watching the waves crash against the rocks and as I was praying I asked God, "what am I doing?" God said simply to me, "I know what I am doing do not worry about what you are doing." He is revealing things to me that I never thought about.

I want to start a ministry that cooks breakfast for homeless in santa cruz. how awesome would that be? I do not know how I am going to do this but hey with God does it really matter? I think by starting a ministry to feed breakfast to the homeless it could be an effective witnessing tool. If anyone that reads this wants to help me or knows of a place that already does this please let me know.

I also want to start a bible study here on Bethany where a group of us can come together and read the word and talk about it. We can bring our own ideas and just share what we have read during the week. I dont even know where to start but I want to.

God is faithful, I didnt know why God wanted me to come back to BU but im glad he did. Bethany is a place I am proud to attend. God is stirring something in me, I dont know what it is yet but these coming weeks are gonna be amazing and full of Gods grace.

God is in control

I know that God is in control, I know he is but sometimes life is unfair. I know its not just me but come on, when do I get a break? Is God preparing me for something amazing and beautiful? I just have to remember that God is in control. so I say to myself God is in control, he is, I know he is, of course he is. I just have to keep my trust in him, and I do have trust in him. He makes me new every day, I cant wait to see what is next for my life...

Love

Ive been wanting to blog about this for a while now but never thought I could express myself clearly. Im going to give it a try now.

Love to me is more than a feeling, it surrounds me. God's love makes me wonder how he loves? I have seen love die, I have seen love survive through anything, I have seen love slowly fade away. I have felt love and lost love. Love hurts, it is awesome, exciting, scary... there are many feeling for love.

I must admit I am scared to truely love somebody, not because of a past experience, but because I have seen what love that is lost does to people. When my parents divorced I got a skewed look at love. I thought love was something that is there one minute and gone the next. Now I look at my brothers marriage, it may not last through the end of the year(prayer would be appreciated), and I wonder is this what love is? but on the other spectrum I look at my grandparents, they have been together over fifty years, this gives me hope.

but in processing my feelings I want to love like God loves us but as humans I dont think that is possible. I think the conclusion I am coming to is God's love is the one and only love that can stand the test of time. If I were to get mad at God and ignore him for months or even years, he would still love me. If I were to do that to someone I loved, that person might move on.

I hope this all makes sense to you, it does to me. I think its just something I needed to write out. I guess the saying is true, "it is better to have love and lost, than to have never loved at all."

politics

As I was watching the democratic national convention I noticed something. Why do we need to change America? Am I the only one that cringes when I hear people say that Barack Obama is the man to change America? Over and over and over again they chant "its time for change" "we need change in America" or "Barack will change America."

My question is this, who said America needs to be changed? From our founding we have been innovative, independent, self-reliant, brave, charitable, and the country where people would kill to live.

Obama always talks about hope, well, we have forever been the hope of the world. All those people living under tyrannical governments have always looked to us to be helped or rescued or to be inspired.

I totally would understand if Obama and the democrats wanted to change this policy or that policy but they don't say that at all. They always chant "change America." Well, America isn't our policies. America is you and me and the people living in it. America is the spirit with which they live. And in my opinion that does not need to be changed ever.