Confessions of an OCD Pastor

If you are a newer reader of this blog, you should know that I do not take myself too seriously. I often will poke fun at myself. I think it is important to keep a sense of humility and to realize that we are all imperfect, jacked-up people who are unconditionally loved by a perfect God. That being said…

Hello, my name is Steve Moore and I am OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

I am walking a dangerous tightrope right now. On one side is more of a normal, balanced life. On the other side is a life fully submitted to my OCD. All that truly means is that I literally have a life full of strict, thought-out process for almost everything I do. I spend way too much time thinking about mundane details trying to figure out the most efficient way to do certain things. I have my biggest problems when variables in those processes change or are taken away. (I really see the unhealthy side of my OCD come out when I travel because all the variables change. Normally, I think all my processes in my normal environment are extremely efficient and somewhat clever.)

I wanted to be honest and share some of my biggest, quirkiest OCD habits that I have developed over the years (and they keep getting worse as I get older).

TOWELS – yes, towels are one of my biggest OCD processes. Specifically, how I use a towel to dry off after taking a shower.

My process is quite simple. I have designated different parts of the towel to dry off different body parts. It does not matter what towel I use, I can within seconds show you what part of the towel goes with what part of the body. However, the entire process starts with the TAG on the towel.

Now before you think I am completely insane, there is a perfectly logical, reasonable explanation for this process. The bottom line (no pun intended) is that I have no desire to dry off my face with the same part of the towel where I just dried off my – how can I put this tastefully – “bathing suit area.” Seriously, that is so disgusting to me. Call me crazy; laugh at me; but at least I am not wiping my face down with the part of the towel that was all up in my butt and man zone.

I freak out when I am using a towel with no tag. My solution to this problem is simple – I simply only use the towel once. There is no reusing of a tag-less towel.

Going back to my parents house where I grow up is always difficult when it comes to this OCD habit. I was reminded of this when I went to Merced a few weeks ago. I think my mom likes to mess with me and watch me freak out on this OCD habit. She is the only woman in the world who buys towels without a tag or will cut the tags of the towels she buys. This makes things very difficult for me and my drying off process.

One time a few years ago, I had finished my shower and was standing soaking wet trying to examine the towel I was using like Gil Grissom examines a crime scene. I could not find the tag. I could not even find the little tag-nub where my mom cut off the tag. I was starting to freak at the thought of having to air dry because of not being able to find the tag.

At that critical moment I was reminded of 2 Timothy 1:7 (the official verse of recovering OCDs), “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

Did I go ahead and use the towel with reckless abandonment? No way! That’s gross! I used the spirit of power God gives me by taking a black sharpie and marking a huge “X” where I thought the tag should have been.

Problem solved.

Hello, my name is Steve Moore and I am OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).