Help-Portrait 2010

something I came across yesterday... remember in life we are second. He is first.

Confessions of an OCD Pastor part 2

A couple weeks ago I shared one of my OCD moments. In the interest of fun or ridicule i thought I would share another one of my OCD moments.

I have a weird fixation with everything being associated with even numbers. I dont know where this came from but I have to have everything be even. I sometimes count my steps in order to take even amounts. My brain cannot do odd numbers. You may think I am odd, thats ok.

for example, look at the blogs over the years, I have even number for how many I have posted every year(I know this post makes it odd but give me a day or two and it will be even).

More examples.

--when I hit fast forward on my dvr I either hit it 2 or 4 times, if I hit it 5 times I have to push it one more time.

-- I have two best friends, most people have one.

-- I have to read every book twice

-- I have two couches at my house, which is 10 pillows, they are the same size, but instead of having 5 on each I have 6 on one and 4 on another.

-- I use two blankets every night when I sleep.

-- when i buy stuff that is weighted I have to have the last number be even. (Ill even as the worker to put more in or take some out)

-- when I go to dinner I cannot order anything that says it comes with 3 or 5 pieces of something.

-- when eating shelled peanuts Ill only eat the ones that have two peanuts in it. If I take one that has one peanut in it ill dig down untill I find another that has one in it.

-- I have 8 bath towels, 6 wash clothes, 2 sponges, 12 hats, 2 cell phones(only one is active).

-- I must have an even number of freinds on facebook, if I have an odd number for more that 24 hours Ill delete someone.

-- it is 4662 steps from my house to my church... it really should have been 4659 but I took 3 more steps to make it an even number all around...

Ok thats enough looking into my brain...

IM NOT CRAZY... my mother had me checked.

favorites...

This is a completely random post (just how I like it). I thought it would slightly entertaining, light, and fun. Here are a list of a lot of my favorites:

FAVORITE “FAST FOOD” RESTAURANT – subway
FAVORITE “SIT-DOWN” RESTAURANT(s) – anything sushi
FAVORITE MLB TEAM – LA Dodgers
FAVORITE NFL TEAM – Pittsburgh steelers
FAVORITE COLLEGE TEAM – Oregon ducks
FAVORITE NBA TEAM – LA Clippers
FAVORITE TV DRAMA – house
FAVORITE TV COMEDY – the king of queens and chuck
FAVORITE REALITY TV SHOW – biggest loser and the apprentice
FAVORITE NEWS PROGRAM – anything foxnews
FAVORITE MAGAZINE – mens health
FAVORITE BOOK – blue like jazz
FAVORITE “NON-CHRISTIAN” BOOK – talent is never enough
FAVORITE “CHRISTIAN” SONG – bring the rain- mercy me
FAVORITE “SECULAR” SONG – you give love a bad name- bon jovi
FAVORITE “ON MY IPOD WHILE WORKING OUT” SONG – anything fast and loud
FAVORITE “COUNTRY” SONG – life is a highway- rascal flatts
FAVORITE “WORSHIP” SONG – none but Jesus- hillsong
FAVORITE ALBUM – welcome to the freak show- dc talk
FAVORITE CHRISTIAN ARTIST/BAND – switchfoot
FAVORITE RAP ARTIST – dont listen to rap
FAVORITE ROCK ARTIST/BAND – offspring
FAVORITE COUNTRY ARTIST – rascal flatts
FAVORITE BOOK IN THE NEW TESTAMENT – Luke
FAVORITE BOOK IN THE OLD TESTAMENT – Isaiah
FAVORITE FONT – comic scans ms
FAVORITE ICE CREAM – coffee
FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR – opening day
FAVORITE INSPIRATIONAL SPORTS MOVIE – radio
FAVORITE MOVIE TRILOGY – Lord of the rings
FAVORITE 80s ACTION MOVIE – topgun
FAVORITE COMEDY MOVIE – dumb and dumber
FAVORITE CHICK-ISH MOVIE – a walk to remember
FAVORITE ARTIST – dont have one
FAVORITE NAP TIME – anytime is a good time for a nap
FAVORITE SOUND – crack of a ball hitting a bat
FAVORITE GADGET – my iPhone
FAVORITE CONVENIENCE – DVR
FAVORITE VIDEO GAME SYSTEM – PS2
FAVORITE VACATION SPOT – Santa Cruz
Those are just a few of my many favorites...

Light Always Wins!

“God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.” – 1 John 1:5

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12

“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light.” – Ephesians 5:8

“You are the light of the world.” – Matthew 5:14

Nyctophobia is the fear of the dark or of night. Achluophobia is the fear of darkness. I remember as a child that I was a little scared of the dark – a minor case of Achluophobia if you will. For years after my parents had tucked me in for the night, I had to make sure that there either my door was cracked open or that my night light was turned on. For some reason that small amount of light always made me feel better.

I do not think I am alone in my fear of darkness. In fact, there are many companies and people that make a living off people being scared of the dark such as night light companies, hypnotists, and even a smart phone flashlight app.

Being in darkness can be scary. Being in the darkness makes you feel extremely uncomfortable. You feel unsure about yourself. You feel trapped. You feel paralyzed because if you move you might bump into something and hurt yourself.

So why do we feel so much better when a Winnie the Pooh night light is on? Because light always wins!

Try this sometime: go into a large room that you can make absolutely pitch black. Make it as dark as you can in that room. After you fill the room with darkness, take a tiny light – either a small flashlight or even the backlight on your cell phone – and turn it on. What happens? What immediately can you see? The light instantly defeats the darkness. You can be in a room full of darkness, but the smallest light will win everytime. Light can never be defeated by darkness. It just is not possible. Light always wins.

My life is affected by this realization in two ways:

First, Jesus is the light of the world. There are times when I feel like my life is full of darkness. There are times when I choose to be in darkness. However, the light of Jesus defeats that darkness everytime. He is undefeated. He does not lose. I will never hang out in the darkness again because Jesus is the light of my life. There is always hope.

Also, when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we become the little lights in the darkness of the world. We are able to bring the light into dark situations. Whenever there are people in darkness around me, I bring hope, truth, and light to the darkness. Why? Because I have the light and light always defeats darkness.

No matter how dark a situation you may be seems. Remember…

LIGHT ALWAYS WINS!

rear-view mirror living

As I drove home today, I pulled behind a fairfield police officer. I was unusually calm considering how many times I have been humbled by this country’s fine police officers.

While driving around town, a police car turned onto the street I was driving and immediately pulled behind me. My heart rate started to elevate and I started to get anxious/nervous. I started to perspire and anticipate that something had to be wrong. I started going through the checklist knowing that something was terribly wrong. Do I have my license? Do I have my insurance card and is it current? Oh my goodness, is my vehicle registration current? Do I have my seatbelt on? I immediately looked down at my speedometer and started slowing down (even though I was not going over the speed limit).

I decided to take the next turn to see if the police car was tailing me. Sure enough, the police car turned too. I just knew that I was in trouble without knowing what specifically I was doing wrong. For the next five minutes, I was constantly checking my rear-view mirror praying not to see those dreaded police lights illuminate like exploding fireworks.

The police car finally turned a corner and left my driving record without incident. What a difference of reactions between when the police car was in front of me and when the police car was behind me!

Why did I react that way when the police car pulled behind me? I was doing nothing wrong, but I immediately started living a life like I was doing something wrong. Have you experienced that?

How often do we do the same thing in our spiritual life? Viewing God as the ever-present police car following behind you, judging your every move, can drastically effect your life. Just like my driving when being followed by a police car actually gets worse, my journey on life is drastically effected when viewing God as that constant judge looking over my shoulder.

Rear-view mirror living is no way to live life. That life is filled with paranoia, fear, and anxiety. That life always makes you feel defeated and that you are doing something wrong.

God loves you. He is your father who loves you unconditionally enough to pick you up when you fall and love you through your messes. He is not the police officer on your bumper analyzing your every move, waiting on you to mess up, and then punish you for breaking the rules.

God is for you. He is on your side. He wants you to succeed, not fail. He desires you to know him and live an abundant life with him. If you are struggling with accepting freedom and grace today, God wants you to stop living life looking through your rear-view mirror.

Live free today! Live forgiven!

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” – Romans 8:1-2 (NIV)

“You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteosness.” – Romans 6:18 (NIV)


I want to be free.

Lukewarm People

LUKEWARM PEOPLE attend church fairly regularly. It is what is expected of them, what they believe “good Christians” do, so they go.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE give money to charity and to the church…as long as it doesn’t impinge on their standard of living. If they have a little extra and it is easy and safe to give, they do so. After all, God loves a cheerful giver, right?

LUKEWARM PEOPLE tend to choose what is popular over what is right when they are in conflict. They desire to fit in both at church and outside the church; they care more about what people think of their actions (like church attendance and giving) than what God thinks of their hearts and lives.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE don’t really want to be saved from their sin; they want only to be saved from the penalty of their sin. They don’t genuinely hate sin and aren’t truly sorry for it; they’re merely sorry because God is going to punish them. Lukewarm people don’t really believe that this new life Jesus offers is better than the old sinful one.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE are moved by stories about people who do radical things for Christ, yet they do not act. They assume such action is for “extreme” Christians, not average ones. Lukewarm people call “radical” what Jesus expected of all His followers.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE rarely share their faith with their neighbors, coworkers, or friends. They do not want to be rejected, nor do they want to make people uncomfortable by talking about private issues like religion.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE gauge their morality or “goodness” by comparing themselves to the secular world. They feel satisfied that while they aren’t as hardcore for Jesus as so-and-so, they are nowhere as horrible as the guy down the street.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE say they love Jesus, and He is, indeed, a part of their lives. But only a part. They give Him a section of their time, their money, and their thoughts, but He isn’t allowed to control their lives.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE love God, but they do not love Him with all their heart, soul, and strength. They would be quick to assume you that they try to love God that much, but that sort of total devotion isn’t really possible for the average person; it’s only for pastors and missionaries and radicals.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is little left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them, whose kids are better athletes than theirs, or with whom conversations are awkward or uncomfortable. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE will serve God and others, but there are limits to how far they will go or how much time, money, and energy they are willing to give.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE think about life on earth much more often than eternity in heaven. Daily life is mostly focused on today’s to-do list, this week’s schedule, and next month’s vacation. Rarely, if ever, do they intently consider the life to come.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE are thankful for their luxuries and comforts, and rarely consider trying to give as much as possible to the poor. They are quick to point out, “Jesus never said money is the root of all evil, only that the love of money is.” Untold numbers of lukewarm people feel “called” to minister to the rich; very few feel “called” to minister to the poor.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from from feeling too guilty. They want to do the bare minimum, to be “good enough” without it requiring too much of them.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE are continually concerned with playing it safe; they are slaves to the god of control. This focus on safe living keeps them from sacrificing and risking for God.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE feel secure because they attend church, made a profession of faith at age twelve, were baptized, come from a Christian family, vote Republican, or live in America. Just as the prophets in the Old Testament warned Israel that they were not safe just because they lived in the land of Israel, so we are not safe just because we wear the label Christian or because some people persist in calling us a “Christian nation.”

LUKEWARM PEOPLE do not live by faith; their lives are structured so they never have to. They don’t have to trust God if something unexpected happens – they have their savings account. They don’t need God to help them – they have their retirement plan in place. They don’t genuinely seek out what life God would have them live – they have life figured and mapped out. They don’t depend on God on a daily basis – their refrigerators are full and, for the most part, they are in good health. The truth is, their lives wouldn’t look much different if they suddenly stopped believing in God.

LUKEWARM PEOPLE probably drink and swear less than average, but besides that, they really aren’t very different from your typical unbeliever. They equate their partially sanitized lives with holiness, but they couldn’t be more wrong.

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*From CRAZY LOVE by Francis Chan, which is completely kicking my butt.

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I normally don’t like to put chunks of other books on the blog; I would rather simply recommend a book and you read it. However, this was too good not to share.

I shared this description of lukewarm people to encourage you to take a searching, honest look at your life – not for you to use this description to judge fellow believers.

Confessions of an OCD Pastor

If you are a newer reader of this blog, you should know that I do not take myself too seriously. I often will poke fun at myself. I think it is important to keep a sense of humility and to realize that we are all imperfect, jacked-up people who are unconditionally loved by a perfect God. That being said…

Hello, my name is Steve Moore and I am OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

I am walking a dangerous tightrope right now. On one side is more of a normal, balanced life. On the other side is a life fully submitted to my OCD. All that truly means is that I literally have a life full of strict, thought-out process for almost everything I do. I spend way too much time thinking about mundane details trying to figure out the most efficient way to do certain things. I have my biggest problems when variables in those processes change or are taken away. (I really see the unhealthy side of my OCD come out when I travel because all the variables change. Normally, I think all my processes in my normal environment are extremely efficient and somewhat clever.)

I wanted to be honest and share some of my biggest, quirkiest OCD habits that I have developed over the years (and they keep getting worse as I get older).

TOWELS – yes, towels are one of my biggest OCD processes. Specifically, how I use a towel to dry off after taking a shower.

My process is quite simple. I have designated different parts of the towel to dry off different body parts. It does not matter what towel I use, I can within seconds show you what part of the towel goes with what part of the body. However, the entire process starts with the TAG on the towel.

Now before you think I am completely insane, there is a perfectly logical, reasonable explanation for this process. The bottom line (no pun intended) is that I have no desire to dry off my face with the same part of the towel where I just dried off my – how can I put this tastefully – “bathing suit area.” Seriously, that is so disgusting to me. Call me crazy; laugh at me; but at least I am not wiping my face down with the part of the towel that was all up in my butt and man zone.

I freak out when I am using a towel with no tag. My solution to this problem is simple – I simply only use the towel once. There is no reusing of a tag-less towel.

Going back to my parents house where I grow up is always difficult when it comes to this OCD habit. I was reminded of this when I went to Merced a few weeks ago. I think my mom likes to mess with me and watch me freak out on this OCD habit. She is the only woman in the world who buys towels without a tag or will cut the tags of the towels she buys. This makes things very difficult for me and my drying off process.

One time a few years ago, I had finished my shower and was standing soaking wet trying to examine the towel I was using like Gil Grissom examines a crime scene. I could not find the tag. I could not even find the little tag-nub where my mom cut off the tag. I was starting to freak at the thought of having to air dry because of not being able to find the tag.

At that critical moment I was reminded of 2 Timothy 1:7 (the official verse of recovering OCDs), “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

Did I go ahead and use the towel with reckless abandonment? No way! That’s gross! I used the spirit of power God gives me by taking a black sharpie and marking a huge “X” where I thought the tag should have been.

Problem solved.

Hello, my name is Steve Moore and I am OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

Morning Run

On my run this morning, I just was not feeling it. I did not run faster than normal. I did not run farther than normal. In fact, nothing was significantly different than most of my runs. It was just one of those days where my feet felt heavy from the first step and I knew it was going to be a struggle just to keep my feet moving. It was going to take all the discipline and will-power I had to get through the run. Nevertheless, I decided to tough it out, grit my teeth, and run.

You ever have those days?

Have you ever had those days spiritually?

You know those days. The days where nothing seems to be different than your normal routine. Those days where you begin to become tired and bored from the mundane, normalcy of life. Those days where nothing necessarily bad is happening, but nothing necessarily good is happening either. Maybe you are waking up after a night’s sleep and immediately feeling tired. Maybe you have no energy or drive to thrive and make a difference at your work/school. You know that getting through the day connected to your Heavenly Father is going to take all the discipline and will power you have inside you, but you do not know if you have it today. You feel tired, weary, burdened, and that you have heavy spiritual feet during these times.

Back to my run this morning…

I was struggling and pushing through the blah of the run this morning. During the final stretch of the run when everything inside of me told me to quit, I was reminded of who I was and whose I was. Through my iPod came a powerful song full of truth at just the right time, “Nothing Without You” by Bebo Norman. If you are tired, let the words of this powerful song minister to you and remind you of who you are and whose you are…

Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to praise You near enough
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out
Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You

Take my body and build it up
May it be broken as an offering of love
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing
But I love You

With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
With all the strength that I can find

Take my time here on this earth
And let it glorify all that You are worth
For I am nothing,
I am nothing without You

May you run and not grow faint today. Remember Jesus’ words today from Matthew 11:28,“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

___________________

The song that followed “Nothing Without You” was “I'm Lion-0” by Relient K, but I couldn’t find any deep, spiritual application from that song.

No Shave November 2010

Yes, it is time for me to earn some more points to my man card. There is no better way to do that than by participating in “No Shave November” and growing a manly beard.

No Shave November is as simple as it sounds. All NSN consists of is picking a part of your body you normally shave and do not shave that area for the month of November. No Shave November is not gender biased. Women are encouraged as well as men in participating in this awesome month-long journey. It is not a competition. So if you know you have patchy, inconsistent facial hair that might be considered weak, you have nothing to worry about. Let it grow proudly. No Shave November is all about giving our Pro Glides, Mach 3s, Venuses, Fusions, Quattros, Norelcos, and Remingtons a well-deserved break for one month.

I participated in No Shave November for the first time in 2008 and it was awesome. It was my first time to sport a beard and I promised myself that it would not be my last time. I hope to grow a fuller, thicker, more manlier beard this year.

this year, I will be keeping a daily record of my No Shave November experiment (not on the blog because that would be super boring for you, thus guaranteeing the loss of all my consistent readers) but will post sporadic updates on how the beard is coming. My goal is to take a picture everyday at the same spot, mesh all the pictures together, and make a sweet animation video of my beard growing before your very eyes

So are you going to join me in participating in No Shave November 2010?

Men, are you going to join me in rocking the best beard you can grow in 30 days? Women, are you going to join me in letting your legs, your armpits, one leg/one armpit, or even a patch on your knees grow free for 30 days? Those of you that may have some rules and regulations about facial hair in your school or workplace, let me encourage you to grow something in the spirit of NSN. If you go to school where you can only have sideburns to your ears and hair above your upper lip, then I encourage you to rock the best sideburns and stache that you can for 30 days.

Can I count on you joining the No Shave November army starting TODAY?